If you’re a musician, artist, writer, or some kind of creative like this and you’re not sure if you should:
- A: Just uproot your life and go all in on making your creative career work, or
- B: Approach this with more caution, be “realistic” and maybe not rush into flipping everything on its head…
…we’re going to talk about this today.
First we’ll talk about some of the different perspectives on this stuff, and why they can sometimes be great for some people, and other times not so much.
Then in the second bit of this letter, we’ll talk about some important things to know if you are going to go all in on this.
These are things I wish I’d known (and that I learned the hard way).
Before we get started, I want to let you know that if you’re a musician looking to build your online presence and grow your fan base on social media, my course Awaken Your Fan Base is available at the early bird price only for another week from today.
It will never be this price again, so this is your last chance to get in on it before it goes up, and before the doors close.
If you’re interested, check it out. Don’t miss out and hope see you there.
Ok, let’s get into it.
To some creatives, whether or not to throw caution to the wind and go all in on their creative career isn’t even a question.
They are all about being delusional, unrealistic, and having unwavering confidence in their inevitable success, because they believe this is simply a must.
And who doesn’t love this, right?
This gets you fired up.
It feels ‘right’ to give yourself full permission to just dive head first into the chaos of a creative career because you’re giving yourself exactly what you want.
The thought of it alone breathes new life into you.
And this feeling is important to take with you into the pursuit of your creative career.
Without that fire, it’s going to be way, way more difficult.
…But is this enough?
Is this delusional confidence just unquestionably the right way to go?
Is it even worth considering any other perspective or approach?
There are creators and motivational personalities online who stand by this 100% and push the message endlessly, because they themselves have managed to build something incredible—in part—with this kind of unrealistic, delusional attitude.
And I’ll say, I’m a fan of it.
You are much more likely to get further if your default belief is “I can do this” because you’re more likely to see solutions rather than focus on problems.
I love motivational stuff. I live for it.
My whole thing is trying to help others feel expansive and like they can take on anything.
But let me show you another side to this.
Because if you really want to make this work for you, delusion is not always enough.
The Problem With Delusion
In the last 5—ish years, I’ve been working with musicians to help them get started with building their online presence, monetising their services, and just helping them in a coach—y way to navigate their creative career path.
What I see a lot is musicians who have adopted this delusional mindset… but who aren’t experienced enough to handle it properly.
Here’s what I mean:
Musicians will sometimes come to me in a state of desperation.
They’ve been stuck for ages, and they’ve reached a point where their emotions have completely taken over them.
I think it’s in these moments that the delusional confidence mindset appeals to them most.
They’re ready to make a massive change, like quitting their job and going all in on music, and they’ve currently got that unwavering belief that they can make it work…
But they have no experience dealing with this kind of situation.
They don’t realise that if they came to this point of delusional confidence and ‘being unrealistic’ from a super low point, it’s most likely not a very stable mindset.
More often than not, I’ve found, going from 0 — 100 like this results in an inevitable crash back to zero.
Because these musicians often weren’t prepared nearly enough for the challenges they had to face.
Even though they were great musicians, they hadn’t developed the other skills required for building a creative career.
This includes not just things like practical social media skills, but also things like being able to stabilise yourself enough emotionally that you can continue forward.
They’d come from a place of desperation, of needing to escape whatever world they were currently in to pursue the thing that means the most to them…
And that can make your vision a little blurry.
Even the most advanced musicians or creatives should be aware of this.
And sure you could say ‘well I’ll just learn these skills as I go’ which I’m all for, and to some extent that’s just how it’s gonna have to be. That’s great.
Forcing functions are incredibly powerful.
If you put yourself in a situation where you’re forced to grow, you’re gonna grow, right?
Yeah, that’s how it can work…
But think of it like this:
Scenario #1
Imagine you hate where you live and you’ve decided to build a house on some land you own so you can get away from your current living situation.
You’ve never built a house before; you have no experience, and you know nothing about what it costs or how to go about it.
But you’re fired up about it, so you’re like ‘I’ll figure it out’ and you pack your bags and move out of your current house.
You get to the building site.
You’re ready to do this, ready to learn, ready to build.
Ok, Alex, what’s the next step? Maybe I should hire some builders to help me.
So you do that, and the builders come.
You ask how this works, and they say it’s gonna cost you $600,000 dollars and it’ll be completed in about 9 months.
$600,000? 9 months?
Fuck. I don’t have that kind of money. I don’t have that kind of time.
Shit, what am I gonna do? I can’t sustain myself for that long…
I have no choice—I’m gonna have to go back to where I was.
That’s scenario 1. Now what about this?
Scenario #2
Same situation, same positive delusional mindset, except this time you do have a little experience building houses, because you’ve had one built before—or at the very least you’ve done some research.
You don’t know exactly how much this new one is going to cost or how long it’ll take to finish, but at least you have some frame of reference.
You know it won’t be cheap and so you should probably save up a bit of money.
Doesn’t have to be the whole thing, but you save a bit so you can show yourself you can be trusted to come through.
You also know it’ll take at least a few months, and so you should have some kind of living situation sorted.
Maybe you organise to stay on a friend’s couch for at least the first 3 months, and then you can figure it out from there.
You don’t have the whole situation sorted, but you’ve shown yourself you know how to handle a situation like this.
So you do that, and then you talk to the builder, who says “ok, this is going to cost $650,000 and will take about 8 months to complete.”
Whew, ok. That’s pretty intense.
It’s a little more costly than I expected and a little longer than I expected.
But I’ve got some stuff in place. I can make this work.
At least I’ve got a bit of money ready to go and a place to stay for now.
Come on Alex. You’ve got the evidence you can handle something like this, so just go for it. It’s gonna be scary, but you can handle it.
I hope you’re with me here.
Desperation does not work with delusion.
The point I’m trying to make is that in the first scenario, Alex was taken over by the desperation.
He’d adopted the delusional mindset but he put himself in a situation that he wasn’t at all prepared for.
And even though that can be sometimes great, and he had what he thought was an unwavering belief in himself…
…he was hit with a brutal curveball that overpowered that mindset.
And because he had no experience dealing with situations like this, he was knocked over instantly.
In the second scenario, Alex was more prepared to deal with the curveball.
It still hit him hard and shook him a bit, but he was able to keep it together because he was standing on more solid ground, right?
This is a case where thinking huge, being “unrealistic” and delusional can be really powerful. This is also where a forcing function is awesome.
It’s like you’ve got this massive power you can tap into and you can actually wield it, instead of not knowing how to handle it and inevitably crashing.
So how do you navigate this? What should you do?
Should you be delusional and unrealistic to make this work, or is it better to play it safer, be more cautious and realistic?
This is my view and some people won’t agree with this, but as someone who has seen creatives either thrive or crash, it’s what I’ve found to be the most helpful:
You should be delusional… but you earn your right to be delusional first.
If you want to be unrealistic—if you want to take a big leap like turning your life on its head and pursuing your creative passion with full force…
…show yourself you’re the kind of person who can handle it, or who will be able to learn to handle it on the job.
Just to be very clear: I want you to be able to quit your job and go all in on creativity, full time.
That’s what I did, and after multiple failed attempts, it worked. That’s the side I’m on.
I’ve worked with creatives who, in part because of my help, have been able to quit their jobs and go full time in their creative field.
It’s incredibly rewarding to see this.
But like I said, I failed 2 or 3 times before it worked.
And I see countless musicians who are highly ambitious but who can’t make it work because they—like me—either couldn’t handle it emotionally, or couldn’t develop the skills in time because they were starting from too far back.
You need to be realistic first—show yourself you have what it takes—then you can be unrealistic.
Do you think if you were suddenly put in a Formula 1 race when you’ve never driven one of these cars before, that you’d just be able to figure it out because you’re so ambitious?
No—you’d definitely lose the race, and you might even die!
Realistic first: Show that you know how to stand firmly on your feet.
Then unrealistic: Let yourself go beyond anything you think is possible.
If you have money…
I will say that if money is no issue, you should just go for it.
Money is the most common and biggest reason why creatives should consider what I’m saying today.
In most cases, they can go all in on the dream only for as long as the money they have can sustain them.
And the idea is, ideally they work super hard and start making more money from their creativity before the money they currently have runs out.
That’s how it worked for me, and I lost tens of thousands of dollars in the process because I was a little too naive the first couple of times I tried to do it.
Shortly, we’ll talk about some of the important things you need to know if you’re thinking of going all in on your creative career and trying to make it work, and we’ll talk about money again then.
But for now, a general guide to follow:
If money is no issue, just do it.
There’s probably no reason why you can’t just go all in (apart from not being very good at your craft!). Be totally unrealistic and delusional.
You’ll more likely have the space to learn how to handle this situation, because even if you mess up like 1000 times, you can just try again, right?
But if that’s not you—you don’t have the luxury of not having to worry about money…
do not blindly walk into a situation that could potentially break you too much and scare you off this path entirely.
Build evidence.
You can and should still have that delusional confidence in your ability to figure it out, but if you can’t first give yourself evidence that you can actually handle something like this, you probably can’t handle it.
And so to get to the point where you feel like you can, you need to give yourself some wins.
You need to build up a bit of real confidence—backed up by evidence—so that when you adopt the delusional, unrealistic mindset, it doesn’t crumble at the first sign of difficulty.
I know there are people out there who will say “fuck that, that’s small minded thinking”.
No it’s not.
I want you to be delusional.
I want you to be unrealistic.
I want you to take whatever you think you’re capable of and 100x it—because you can probably do way more and better than you think.
But I also don’t want you to crumble.
I want you to be smart.
And I want you to understand that this delusional thinking is only so unbelievably powerful when you can show yourself you’re worthy of wielding it.
Being ‘unrealistic’ is undeniably one of the most important things you’ll ever do for yourself and your creative career.
But being unrealistic doesn’t just mean believing “I can do anything”.
It also means showing yourself you can do anything.
And this brings me to another point, which is also a warning:
People can often use being unrealistic or being delusional as a secret form of self sabotage.
I’ve done this heaps.
This often happens in that state of desperation like I mentioned earlier.
People set goals so unbelievably big that they know they can’t actually handle it, and it gives them a reason to stay small.
They attempt it, they fail, and then they say “see? I told you this isn’t for me, I should give up.”
I’ve been talking about giving yourself evidence that you can do this.
Sometimes being unrealistic is you secretly trying to give yourself evidence that you can’t do this.
This is why I think it’s a bad idea to go from that 0 state—that state of desperation where you haven’t been able to make anything work—to 100, a mindset of delusional confidence and setting unrealistic goals.
It’s not actually a positive mindset shift.
It’s lurching from one extreme state to another without any real anchor.
And it’s secretly trying to reinforce your deep belief that you aren’t actually cut out for this.
It’s really tough, because we creatives need this positive messaging.
We need to be encouraged and pushed out of our comfort zone.
Without this kind of excessive positive reinforcement, we’re so much more likely to quit because it’s so hard.
I’ve personally witnessed artists who are ready to bail on this whole idea of a creative career turn around and make great progress because they had constant encouragement to keep going.
But it’s also so common to see artists who are hurting because they can’t make it work and it’s all they want to do, they’re feeling it so deeply…
And then they see this “be unrealistic, be delusional” messaging, then make reckless decisions that end up putting them in a worse position than before.
We need these positive messages.
They can’t stop.
We can’t stomp on the dreams of creatives by only focusing on how hard it is, and how much they need to work on themselves to achieve what they want.
But we also can’t ignore it.
If we want to actually achieve amazing things, we need both a big juicy dose of delusional thinking and unrealistic goals, and smart, practical approaches to backing it all up.
We should be expansive—no limits on what we let ourselves believe we’re capable of…
Then map out a practical path to get there, instead of just closing our eyes and hoping for the best.
Chances are, you can do way better than you think.
But not with your eyes closed.
What you need to know if you’re going for it.
Ok, now let’s talk about some important things you need to know if you are going to go all in on building your creative career.
These are things I wish I’d known.
If I was starting again with what I know now, I would do a few things differently to help me make faster progress and potentially prevent losing all that time and money.
It’s here we’ll talk about how you can give yourself that much needed evidence to show yourself you’re worthy of wielding the delusional mindset and unrealistic thinking.
Let’s get into it.
It’s all on you now.
The first thing you have to know is this:
If you’re going all in on a creative career, you are now the only person who is making you get up and work, and work on the right things.
This is one of the biggest and hardest lessons I’ve had to learn.
There’s no boss.
There’s no other person who’s going to hold you accountable every morning.
It’s all on you.
When you get up each day and you remember you’ve got the freedom to do whatever you want because you don’t have to go to a 9—5…
You have to actively choose working on your creative career every single time.
Do not take this lightly.
It sounds obvious and easy, like “yeah of course I would do that”, but when you’re actually in it, you might be surprised.
On those days where you really don’t feel like it, but you’re relying on yourself to show up and get the work done, you’re going to feel it.
When I first started out on my own, I thought I was disciplined.
I thought I would have endless fire to do whatever it took to get things done, because this is so important to me.
I was wrong.
Before, I just had things in place to stop me from shirking responsibility.
As soon as I didn’t have that anymore, I became a massive time-waster.
One big reason for this is because I care more about being creative than making money.
That sounds nice, but it’s hurt my progress quite a lot at times because I hadn’t trained myself to prioritise the money—generating work.
And as I’m sure you can guess, generating money is a pretty important part of running your own little business.
So when the automatic accountability of a 9—5 disappears, you have to recreate it in yourself.
You have to go from relying on someone else to tell you what to do and when, to being the one who pushes yourself to get things done.
Again, don’t underestimate how difficult this can be.
When you wake up feeling like shit and you’ve got the option to sleep in, or do something else for the day, or just go on your phone…
…you’re going to want to take it.
But you can’t—a lot of the time anyway.
You have to be strict with yourself.
And if you’re going all in on building your creative career, you need to give yourself evidence you can do this.
Ideally you give it to yourself before you make the leap.
One way you can do this is to prematurely tackle the “I don’t have enough time” problem, which is something I eventually learned to do.
While you’re in your 9—5, you might think something like “as soon as I get out of this I’m gonna have all the time in the world to work on my creative career and I’ll finally be able to make progress”.
For 99% of people, this is a trap.
You need to train yourself to better manage your time and energy while the pressure is on, while you’re still in your 9—5, so that when you go all in on your creative career, you can trust yourself to show up.
Think of it like a final test to see if you’re ready to go out on your own; can you show up when it’s hardest?
Can you finish at your 9—5 for the day and then come home and work on your creative career for a few hours?
Trust me, if you’re waiting until you fully leave your 9—5 to try this, you’re going to struggle.
You haven’t built the muscle yet, and you need to.
This is a big one, please don’t ignore it.
You need to show yourself you can show up when no one else is around, because that’s what it’ll be like every single day.
Ok, next thing you need to know:
Money is now a much bigger factor.
When taking your daily, weekly, monthly actions, you now have to consider money much more.
It’s a higher priority than it used to be.
No one is going to just hand you a pay check every week for showing up to the office.
Now, it’s fully your responsibility to generate money so that this thing can run properly…
…so you’re not all stressed out all the time, and so you’re in a better position to contribute positively to the world through your creativity.
This is a very important thing to know about yourself: What is your capacity for dealing with financial anxiety?
Some people can handle it pretty well.
They can keep themselves together through the financial ups and downs, which are inevitable.
But others can’t.
For some, it’s paralysing. It makes them do stupid things.
And so you have to take this into consideration when you’re building your own thing.
If you’re not very good at dealing with financial anxiety, you might want to give yourself a bigger safety net before you dive in.
Generating money is not what drives me to do this.
If I could, I would do most of what I do completely for free, which I think is a good sign I’m on the right path…
But this can kind of mess me up sometimes.
Because it makes it more likely I’ll prioritise other things about this career that I enjoy over generating money.
And then I’ll end up in a situation where all of a sudden I have to start intensively focusing on money.
I don’t like financial anxiety. It’s horrible.
So I’ve had to teach myself how to make money a higher priority so I can bring my best self to you.
And you’re going to have to do the same thing.
Again, it all starts with before you dive in.
Like I said, if you’re not great at dealing with financial anxiety, you may want to save a bit more so you don’t fall apart in what’s likely to be a bit of a dip in income for a while.
It doesn’t have to be like this, but just based on my own experience and what I’ve seen, this is common.
And even if you are great at dealing with financial strain and you can still perform well, you still need to be responsible about generating money.
The money making activities in your creative career are now one of your highest priorities.
Some of this can be really fun.
For example, I get up every single morning and write, which I love.
This also happens to be one of the biggest money—making activities for me. So that’s a huge win.
But there’s other stuff I don’t love so much.
Things like constantly talking about my course, which I think is awesome and I’m super proud of it, but sometimes I don’t always like the feeling of constantly pushing it.
Also all the admin—y stuff. I don’t want to do that, but I have to.
And even some content I kind of have to make because it’s what shows people I know what I’m talking about and leads them to checking out my stuff.
I mostly love the stuff I make, but some of it is just necessary for generating money, right?
So this same thing will apply to you.
Whether you’re an artist trying to sell your music, art, merch, tickets, etc…
…or you’re a service like me who offers help or products, you’re going to have certain activities that aren’t super fun, but super necessary.
Do not fall into the trap of using all your free time solely to do the things you want to do.
I am telling you this is a road leading to disaster.
You must take the money side of it seriously.
If you’re not generating money, you don’t have a business.
So even though you can build something that feels extremely fulfilling and like a dream—something you can’t believe you’ve built for yourself…
You have to prioritise making money so you can keep it going and bring your best self to the world.
Again, this will most likely mean frequently talking about things you don’t feel super comfortable with and doing work that isn’t your favourite.
But you’ve got to remember: It’s because of you doing this stuff that you’re able to do all the other fun stuff.
This also ties in heavily with the next point I wanted to make, which we can keep short:
The work you don’t want to do is probably the most important.
Just like the money—making activities you’ll have to do, there will be work that you may deem unimportant or boring that is actually super important.
One thing I think a lot of creatives choose to ignore when they’re considering diving into building a creative career on their own is how repetitive some of the work can be.
If you hated the monotony of your 9—5, guess what?
Some of that will exist in your creative career too.
There’s no avoiding having to do some repetitive stuff.
For one example, my thing is on social media, and I have to show up (in some way) more or less every day.
This is not always what I want to do.
It might sound ridiculous that making sure I put a post out there, or show up in Stories, or reply to comments or something is a huge part of running the business… but it’s true.
All those tiny little things can add up to something much, much greater than what you think.
And it can go either way.
Every day when I have to choose showing up or not showing up, I’m affecting my trajectory.
If I make the micro—decision to show up every day, I benefit from the compounding effect of that.
There’s a big difference between showing up for 90 days straight vs showing up every second day for that same period. Huge difference.
If I constantly make the micro—decision to put off showing up, eventually that catches up with me.
I end up in a situation where I have to scramble to get things moving again and it puts a whole lot of extra stress on me that I really don’t like.
These little things seem insignificant in the moment, but you pay for your decision in future.
You have to understand the work you’re doing on a daily basis is what builds your future.
And so every time you decide to bail on yourself when you know you shouldn’t, you’re creating a worse future for yourself.
I’ll leave this here because I kind of drove this point home with the money stuff, but the work you don’t always want to do is probably the most important.
The stuff that feels boring or unimportant is probably what runs the business more than anything.
So how can you give yourself evidence that you’ll be able to show up for yourself like this when it comes to crunch time?
Simple: Start doing it now.
Intentionally do things you don’t want to do so you can prove to yourself you’re the kind of person who has their priorities right.
You need to be able to trust yourself, because this path probably has more roadblocks than you think, and you need to be strong.
So put yourself in a situation where you’re doing some kind of important but not so exciting work on a regular basis before you dive in to show yourself you can handle it.
Ok, what else do you need to know?
It’s going to take longer than you think, so start now.
It’s probably going to take longer than you think to get to a place where you really feel like you’re doing this.
It might not, but often it will.
Like I mentioned before, when we’re all excited about going down this path, we choose to ignore some of the obstacles because we want to focus on all the good stuff.
But this is an important one: It takes time to make this work.
You will make tons and tons of mistakes along the way.
Things won’t unfold the way you expected.
You’ll get less back for your efforts than what you wanted.
Unforeseen events will occur and you’ll find yourself in situations you didn’t prepare for.
However long you’re expecting this to take, try doubling it.
Assume things will go wrong, because they will. Don’t get in a negative headspace, but expect bumps.
One of the single biggest mistakes you can make going into this is telling yourself you’ll start later.
This will destroy you.
Start now. Right now. Because every little bit of action counts.
And the longer you put things off, the harder everything is going to feel, and you’ll end up wondering how it’s possible you’re making such little progress this far in.
One thing I think a lot of us do is spend tons of time thinking about something (like our creative career) but not so much time actually working on it.
What this does is create the illusion that we’ve been ‘doing this for ages’ when we actually haven’t.
Because at the end of the day, it’s the action that produces results.
And even though it feels like we’re been doing a lot of work, we haven’t.
I go through this all the time. Why do I feel like I’ve been working so hard and getting barely anything back?
Well, Alex, it’s because you haven’t actually been working so hard. You’ve just been thinking about it a lot.
And don’t get me wrong, sometimes you will work super hard and get nothing back—that for sure exists.
But check yourself. Regularly. Because you might be tricking yourself.
Don’t put it off. Start doing the real work now.
And not only should you start now…
You should also learn to be ok with doing little chunks of work.
It all adds up.
Another massive mistake I’ve made is only actually doing work when I feel like I have a big enough block of time.
While this is ideal, in my opinion, it’s not always realistic to rely on having enough of those blocks. not in the beginning anyway.
You can intentionally design your days to allow for these big blocks, which I do and it’s amazing.
But you should be prepared to only be able to work on something for 30 minutes sometimes.
Again, all of it adds up.
30 minutes here and there over an entire year is not nothing.
And if you choose to show up in those moments vs not showing up, the difference in progress is insane.
Strive for creating bigger blocks of interrupted work so you can get into flow and do incredible work, but don’t discount the power of a 30 minute work block.
All of these tiny actions contribute to an amazing future.
Start now, and be flexible with how you get things done.
Don’t waste time trying to figure everything out yourself.
Ok the next important thing you need to know is that you shouldn’t waste time trying to figure everything out yourself.
Ultimately, you’ll create a path that is completely and uniquely yours.
And that will include you having garnered your own experience and figuring out your own personal way of approaching things.
But what I’m talking about here is valuing your time more highly.
When you go out on your own to build a creative career, your time is important.
Money is important too, but when it comes to learning things you need to learn to help you grow, if you can condense that learning period into a shorter time, you should go for that.
Now of course if you don’t have the money to do that, don’t do that.
But if you can do it, do it.
Because you might spend 3—5 exhausting years trying to figure out how to go about a certain thing, when you could have it figured out in a few months by learning from someone ahead of you.
Do not underestimate the power of this.
There are things I wish I’d done years ago that I’ve only done recently.
It’s very tempting to try and get away with doing everything for free by just pouring lots of time into learning and research.
And sometimes that’s the best move.
But in a lot of cases, the time you’re spending on this stuff for the sake of saving money is actually costing you a lot more money because you’re missing out on so much potential progress while you’re distracted by learning this thing.
Not to mention it’s exhausting. It wears you down. It tires out your brain.
Again, if you do not have the money, or it’s going to put you in a really bad situation, don’t do it.
It’s not always the ideal move.
But take it from someone who has sabotaged themselves in this way countless times, it is often much better to just do the uncomfortable thing and get help in the important areas, than to spend all your time and energy trying to figure it out yourself.
I can’t really think of anything major in my own business that hasn’t benefited from someone else’s help.
Even if that help was learning what doesn’t work and getting to what does work faster.
Your time is precious.
Money comes and goes, but time just goes.
And you can create more time with your perception, of course, but hopefully you get what I mean here.
The massive problem you just can’t seem to figure out and that’s taking up all your time and energy could probably be fixed with a bit of outside help from the right person.
One of the biggest shifts I’ve made, which has positively impacted me, is going from valuing money more than my time, to valuing my time more than money.
Not only has my quality of life improved, but it’s also helped me make more money.
If you want to be one of those people who is one day being asked how they managed to get where they did, you need to value your time, and you need to learn fast.
I know it’s uncomfortable, but once you realise how much further you can go in a much shorter time, you’ll become addicted to it.
As with the other stuff we’ve talked about today, the way you give yourself evidence that you’re this kind of person is to start working on it now.
It’s actually the perfect time to do it because you probably have more money, and it’ll be good to practise managing your time and energy because you’ll now have this extra thing to hold you accountable.
So maybe while you’re still in a ‘safer’ situation, start investing in some kind of help or accelerated learning to get a taste for how it works, and to give you a better frame of reference for what’s possible if you go down this path.
Again, I can’t even begin to tell you how helpful this stuff is.
Give it a go if you’re not that person already and see for yourself.
Ok, two more major things I want to quickly talk about today before we wrap this up.
I also think it’s important to talk more about risk in a certain way when it comes to building your creative career, but I want to leave that for another episode because it can probably be its own thing.
So for now, two more important things:
Be assertive, set boundaries.
The first is that you’re probably going to have to become more assertive and better at setting boundaries.
If you’re the kind of person who feels like you’re easily persuaded to do things you don’t want to do in your everyday life, or you have trouble saying no or setting boundaries…
…you’ve got to work on this.
I’ve been so bad at this.
I’m honestly only just starting to get a handle on it recently.
A lack of boundaries and a lack of assertiveness will break you.
When you dive into building this thing for yourself, you are quickly going to realise how easy it is to be pulled away from what you need to work on.
If you aren’t prepared for it—like I wasn’t—this will burn you out in a matter of weeks.
People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.
If you are too open—as in you let them control the situation and you completely disregard your own wellbeing—they will take advantage of you, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
Even the nicest, most respectful types of people do this unintentionally if you let them.
This is especially difficult to navigate if you’re a pleaser, or someone who just hates saying no.
And it’s not a good thing.
Because when you’re not at your best, you can’t help them in the best way, or give your best self to the world, right?
It’s actually good for you and them to set boundaries.
You’ll find people will generally respect your boundaries if you set them.
But they won’t if they don’t know them.
So what this looks like for you depends on the kind of thing you’re doing.
- It might be related to service—based work, like dealing with clients or students.
- It might be related to the relationships you build as an artist.
- It might be related to monetising your art or dealing with fans.
Whatever it is, you have to be absolutely diligent when it comes to setting boundaries.
I recommend you do a regular check in with yourself to identify areas of your creative career that exhaust you.
Then ask if there are some boundaries you can set up that would positively impact not only how you feel about those areas, but also the outcomes associated with them.
More often than not, you’ll find that setting stricter boundaries will only benefit everyone involved, in various ways.
As long as you’re smart.
If you’re getting a lot of fan engagement and it’s important for you to respond to those people so they feel connected, setting a boundary like ‘I’m not going to talk to any of these people’ is a bad idea, right?
In this case, find a way to make it work.
But in the case of something or someone draining you and there being no real benefit to it, set some boundaries and be ok with asserting yourself when you need to.
Not always easy, but important.
And as always, you can practise this (build evidence) by starting now.
Don’t put it off**. Don’t keep saying yes when you need to say no.**
Practise, practise, practise.
You’ll find most of the time, it only helps you gain more respect from others and yourself.
You can do it 🙂
The mental game.
Ok and the last thing you need to understand, for today at least:
The mental game is everything. We’ll keep this quick.
Going down this path of building your own thing in creativity will most likely completely transform you as a person in order to have it succeed.
It’s done this for me.
You need a mindset of steel.
You need to learn how to regulate your emotions if you haven’t already.
You need to show yourself you are capable of keeping it together when things aren’t going your way.
And you will be presented with endless opportunities to transform yourself in these ways.
If you want to do this successfully, take full advantage of those opportunities.
I wish I’d started sooner. And you should start sooner.
If you’re currently someone who gets completely off track for long periods of time when things go wrong, or when you don’t feel good about the situation you’re in…
…you need to practise bringing yourself back, anchoring yourself.
The first time I tried to do this, I was so incapable of handling my fluctuating emotions and dealing with difficult situations, that I couldn’t sustain it.
I made all of these rash decisions, and was just all over the place.
I had to actually go back to working part time in some terrible job because I couldn’t handle it.
When I was finally able to handle myself and do this for real, full time, it was in no small part because I’d worked on this.
I’d practised sitting with these uncomfortable feelings and situations and showing up despite them.
I’d practised bringing myself back to reality and working through the problem instead of trying to get around it, or just avoid it completely.
This is a mental game more than anything else. I will stand by that forever.
It’s no good if you’re super skilled or talented or driven if you’re going to fall apart every two seconds, like I used to.
Do not underestimate the mental game.
It will make or break you depending on how you handle it.
This path could be the best thing you ever do.
It most likely will be.
And it will make you strong if you let it.
But you have to pay attention and actively do the work. Otherwise it will crush you.
You can do this. Believe it, and act like it.
Show yourself you’re someone who deserves it.
The amazing future you want will appear in front of you once you do.
I hope this was helpful!
A final reminder: *if you’re a musician looking to build your online presence and grow your fan base on social media, my course Awaken Your Fan Base is available at the early bird price only for another week from today.
It will never be this price again, so this is your last chance to get in on it before it goes up, and before the doors close.
If you’re interested, check it out. Don’t miss out. Hope see you there.
Ok, you’ve got this. Talk again soon 🙂
