How To (Actually) Be Authentic On Social Media—For Creatives

Today’s letter is all about how to show up as yourself on social media—how to be authentic—but also how to make your efforts effective so you actually get somewhere by doing this.

This is not a step—by—step guide for a certain social media strategy or anything.

It’s more about changing how you think about approaching it.

And I promise it’ll be just as (if not more) valuable than a step—by—step guide on this topic.

Some of what we’ll talk about today can be applied not just to social media, but really to life.

So I hope that after reading this you’ll be inspired not just to level up your online presence, but also to approach life with more intention, confidence, and authenticity.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

I’ve struggled with authenticity a lot in the past (on social media and beyond).

And I know a lot of the creatives I talk to and musicians I work with are in the same boat, at least when it comes to social media.

Authenticity is a word that gets used way too loosely in the space I’m in, in my opinion.

It’s sometimes something people just say because it’s a safe thing to say.

No one’s going to disagree with the advice that you should be authentic.

So everyone says it as a way to get people on their side, even if they don’t know exactly what they mean by that.

I’m not criticising anyone here—I’ve done this too.

And one of the big reasons I’m now so interested in the topic is because too often I used to feel inauthentic when I would show up online (and in life).

So over the last few years—but especially this last year—I’ve been really making an effort to be more authentic in general, including on social media.

In the process, I’ve discovered quite a lot about what it means to me to be authentic, and it’s not exactly what I originally thought it was.

So today I’ll share some thoughts on this.

My aim is to get you thinking differently and clearly about authenticity, so that you can really start to get somewhere on social media.

Quickly before we dive in, I want to let you know that now that I’m back from my elopement, I’m opening up some more space to do consultations and coaching again.

So if you’re a musician who needs some direction with:

• building your online presence,
• career stuff in general
• or anything else I may be able to help with

…feel free to get in touch and we can talk about what might work for you.

Ok, let’s get into it.

One of the biggest things that used to hold me back on social media is this dissonance between ‘being yourself’ and actually getting results.

I know this holds a lot of creatives back, too.

A lot of us feel or have felt that in order to achieve a decent result with our creative efforts online we have to be inauthentic.

This could be because we look at creatives who are doing well on the platforms and see them doing things we don’t want to do ourselves.

We can easily believe these people are being fake for the sake of attention and we don’t want to do that.

It could also be that we have tried to be ourselves on social media and it straight up hasn’t worked.

This has leading us to believe that the only way to make it work is to not be ourselves.

Or it could be we’re trying to do things to make it work but everything feels unnatural.

We feel as though social media just isn’t for us—it just doesn’t align with who we are.

Let’s dive into this a bit.

Is it just ‘not for you’?

I do truly believe that social media for some people just isn’t worth going all in on.

Some of the creatives who believe that social media ‘just isn’t for them’ are right, in part.

That’s not to say they can’t use it and get something from it…

It’s just that in order to have it work for them the way they want it to, they’d have to stretch themselves so much and/or for so long that it wouldn’t be the most effective method of achieving their goals.

What I mean here is if you’re someone who would have to spend 10 years to get through all your blocks and get a certain result on social media…

…but you could get the same result in 1 or 2 years a different way, it’s probably better to go that different way, right?

I know creatives who have a pretty lacklustre social media presence but who are super accomplished in their careers.

That’s because they’ve built things up in a different way—a way that’s more effective for them.

Again, this does not mean they can’t have or use social media.

And they’re still able to get something from it.

It’s just that it might be easier for one person to play the social media game than it is for another.

And it might be easier for some to play a different game than it would be for others.

So in some cases going all in on social media is not the best move because you may be someone who can achieve better results by going down a different path.

What this means for you totally depends on what you do and who you are.

But it could mean exploring things like:

• Paid advertising
• Focusing on different platforms to share your art or provide a service
• Doing more IRL stuff
• Working with an agency or organisation of some sort to help you with stuff you’re not good at
• Or it could be something else.

Going down a different path like this—or having other things going alongside social media—can be super beneficial.

It may be the difference between actually getting somewhere decent and not.

So I think it’s important to acknowledge that, although social media can provide a lot of opportunity for a lot of people…

…not everyone is going to be able to take advantage of that opportunity to the same extent.

Social media is a game and not everyone is going to be able to play it at the same level.

Some creatives will be much better off using it in conjunction with other methods, or just focusing totally on the other methods.

But before you go off and completely change your path because you believe you’re one of these people, just stay with me for a bit.

Because a lot of creatives who feel like social media just doesn’t align with their authentic selves and that’s why it doesn’t work may not be seeing the whole picture.

Sometimes they’re confusing discomfort with inauthenticity.

Sometimes they’re conflating a need to be validated with inauthenticity.

And sometimes they’re mistakenly seeing a desire for results as inauthentic.

So hear me out before you give up on social media.

Because I’m going to share some stuff about authenticity that might give you some more perspective on it.

Not natural or not patient?

One of the things that used to hold me back a lot on social media (and really in life in general) was the belief that if it didn’t feel natural, it was wrong and I shouldn’t do it.

I would try something out, not feel very good about it, and pretty much straight away conclude that it wasn’t for me.

Sometimes I wouldn’t even try it out.

I’d just **think ****about it and say ‘nah, not a good fit’.

Looking back, I realise how widespread this attitude has been in the people around me.

For a lot of my life, I was surrounded by people who held the belief that if something didn’t come naturally right away, if something wasn’t super easy, it wasn’t a good fit.

I heard this about everything:

• If you’re not super inspired to do it right now, it’s not worth working on right now.
• If there’s resistance or struggle in your relationship, that’s automatically a sign you’re not with the right person.
• If you have to strain yourself to get a handle on a certain task or concept, that task or concept just isn’t a good fit for you.

My environment was training me to give up at the first sign of difficulty.

It was either easy, or it was wrong.

All of this is so limiting, and in my eyes just plain wrong.

Of course there are certain things that are better suited to some people than others.

And there are things that truly aren’t the best for you to pursue for various reasons.

But if I’d continued to believe that everything should be easy, everything should just flow perfectly all the time, and anything that didn’t was just not for me…

I would have almost none of the great things I have in my life right now.

• If I only got up in the morning to write on the days I was super inspired to do it, I would barely produce anything—definitely not enough to get anywhere with it.
• If I took any bit of resistance in my relationship as a sign to run away, I would have given up in the first 6 months, instead of now having a 7 year long journey of intense growth and transformation alongside the love of my life.
• If I bailed on every hard thing I tried to learn because it hurt my head or it was temporarily draining, I would know nothing.

I would see the trajectory of my life as out of my control, because everything would be too hard or confusing to get my head around.

It took me way too long to figure this out:

Almost nothing is going to feel completely natural or easy if you’ve never done it before (or you’ve only done it for a bit).

For it to feel natural, you’ll likely have to dive into it quite a lot.

And this is every bit as true for social media as it is for anything else.

Just because it doesn’t feel natural to you right now…

Just because it’s uncomfortable right now…

…does not automatically mean that doing it is inauthentic.

Yes, some things can just click for you.

The moment you first experience it or do it you know this is right for you.

Of course that happens.

That happened to me with music.

But you can’t go through life relying only on that.

Although it happens occasionally, there aren’t many things worth your attention that will just fall into your lap and be perfect.

Most of the things you want will likely be behind some pretty big walls, and you’re going to have to break through them to get the goods.

Back in the day, I was not a ‘social media person’ at all.

I had Myspace and Facebook as a teenager, but after that for years I had little to no social media at all, let alone a social media presence.

Back then, I felt that the whole idea of social media was wrong for me.

Completely inauthentic, unnatural, reserved only for people who were completely self—obsessed.

I remember when I was in my early 20s my girlfriend at the time wanted to make a Facebook post about our relationship now being official.

I either didn’t have social media at the time or I did but I was completely uninterested in it.

She was getting all excited about all the comments and engagement, and I didn’t even want to look at any of it.

A few years later when I started to move in a new direction with my career and creativity, I started a new Instagram account.

At the time it was just to dip my toe in and feel it out because I knew it could potentially help.

It immediately felt wrong.

Nothing felt natural.

Nothing felt authentic.

There was a ton of resistance, and after a little while I found myself in a situation you might be familiar with:

• Almost nothing was working—it just didn’t feel like me
• The stuff I put out that did feel closer to authentic wasn’t performing at all
• And I felt the only way I was going to get somewhere was to compromise on authenticity.

Now, what’s the right move here?

According to the way I’d previously understood life, I should have bailed, right?

It felt unnatural.

It was uncomfortable.

It felt like the only option was inauthenticity.

Time to give up on it, yeah?

Well, I had a strong reason not to bail (which was seeking more freedom in my creativity and career), and so I stayed.

This is what happened.

It’s unnatural until it’s not.

I started to take more responsibility for learning new things that would help me level up.

I started experimenting with some approaches that were previously out of the question.

Things like showing my face more, talking to the camera, implementing certain marketing techniques, etc.

I started trying to look at social media not as this overwhelming monster that was crushing me, but as a tool to help me.

A skill I could develop to get what I want.

All of it was incredibly uncomfortable and felt very unnatural and inauthentic… until it didn’t.

It took me multiple years, but none of it feels unnatural or inauthentic to me anymore (at least most of the time).

• Talking to a camera
• Presenting ideas
• Being a ‘social media person’ that speaks to hundreds of thousands of people every month…

All of it feels a lot more like me now, which is pretty crazy to think about considering where I started.

Now the idea of going back to how I was before this feels more inauthentic than being how I am now.

We humans are pretty interesting creatures.

We are adaptable.

We can change.

We can grow. We’re supposed to.

What feels uncomfortable to you right now could feel like second nature in a few years if you do it enough.

And although it’s true that—if you look at it practically—some things just aren’t meant for some people…

Many things you currently believe ‘just aren’t you’ could become a major part of your authentic self in future.

I’m not trying to force you into starting things you don’t want to start or persuade you to turn yourself into a person you don’t want to be or anything like that.

I’m just trying to show you how much more you’re capable of.

And to encourage you to question what’s truly authentic and inauthentic to you.

Your future authentic self.

When I look back at the things I used to consider authentic and inauthentic to me, I realise how much of it was susceptible to change, and in fact not a super deep part of who I was.

Honestly, a lot of what I used to avoid because it was ‘inauthentic’ I was really just avoiding because of a lack of personal growth and skills.

Looking back, I actually always wanted to share parts of myself with the world.

I just didn’t have the confidence or skills to do it properly back then, so I told myself it wasn’t for me.

I actually really enjoy the creativity that comes with marketing.

I just used to see marketing as evil and so I shut out the idea that it was something I could do.

Now that I’m:

• A more skilled marketer
• I have experience and am more confident talking to a camera
• I’m able to put lots of stuff out into the world

…I actually love all of it, or at least most of it.

Doing these things feels authentic, mostly comfortable, and honestly fun most of the time.

You would never have been able to convince younger me that this is who I would become.

You would never have convinced me I’d enjoy—

• Marketing as much as I enjoy making music
• Or talking to a camera
• Or even just embracing hard things in general.

Again, I’m not saying you have to force yourself into liking marketing or anything.

But be open to the idea that the authentic you right now is not necessarily the same authentic you in future.

And if you really want something—like say to make a living with your creativity…

…there are things you’ll have to do that right now might feel super uncomfortable, inauthentic, and unnatural.

But they don’t have to feel like that forever.

You don’t have to be stuck in this horrible life where everything sucks and feels like it’s ‘not you’.

The way you are more likely to get stuck in a life like that is if you never embrace uncomfortable things, things that may initially feel unnatural and inauthentic.

If you instead look at yourself as this hyper—powerful, adaptable energy that can become whoever you want to be…

…you will create a life for yourself that’s almost incomprehensible to the current version of you.

That will involve challenging a lot of the beliefs you currently hold.

Things like:

• “X thing is just not for me”
• “I could never do that or be like that”
• “This is too hard, I’m not doing it”

Your feelings matter, but they’re not always right.

They’re not always fighting for the best version of you.

Sometimes they trick you.

Maybe they want to keep you safe, but they don’t realise they’re actually making you more unsafe.

Maybe they’re trying to steer you in a direction they think is best, but their vision is obscured by past pain, and they’re actually leading you towards a worse life.

Maybe they don’t fully understand what’s authentic and inauthentic.

What’s worth pursuing and what’s not.

Even what’s right and wrong—maybe they aren’t as crystal clear on all the details there.

Here’s one example of this we can use to challenge ourselves:

Being performative is not inauthentic.

One of the frustrations many creatives have with social media is that they feel they have to be performative.

That feels inauthentic to them.

The idea that they can’t be exactly how they are in real life because it won’t work.

Let’s take a closer look at this.

Because the truth is, you do have to be performative on social media, to an extent.

But is being performative really a bad thing?

Is it really inauthentic to put on a performance for the sake of achieving something you want in a certain setting?

Because I would argue you’re already doing that in life all the time.

You are not always the same person in every situation.

You are not likely to be exactly the same person at work as you are at home.

You pull back on or exaggerate certain parts of your personality depending on the situation to help you better adapt to the environment.

When you go to visit your grandparents you act differently than when you’re out with your friends.

One situation might require a super polite, reserved version of you.

The other might require a more relaxed and fun version of you.

Neither are inauthentic versions of you—just different.

As humans we are constantly changing how we show up in life depending on the situation and the effect we’re trying to have.

We have a broad range of traits and behaviours and energies, and we’re constantly amplifying or quietening different things to help us navigate life.

So is it really a problem that showing up on social media requires you to be performative?

It’s just another situation.

Only this one may be less familiar to you and therefore feel more uncomfortable.

But it can absolutely be authentic.

And we’ve already established that discomfort doesn’t automatically equal inauthenticity, right?

So it’s just a matter of choosing which authentic version of you is going to show up.

Which combination of traits and behaviours will you use to fit this situation?

What will you amplify and reduce?

Social media does require a bit of a performance from you.

A certain version of you to achieve a desired result…

But that version can be made up of traits and behaviours and energies that already exist within you—that are authentic to you.

And you can choose which traits and behaviours you bring into it.

You don’t have to do something you hate, or be someone you hate.

It can be extremely similar to how you are in every day life if it makes sense, or it can be a little different.

If you like the idea of being a certain way on social media, then it’s authentic.

Even if it’s not how you act most of the time in life.

And even if it is technically a performance.

My online presence is a performance.

It’s a strategic approach to getting what I want, which is to make a living being creative and helping and inspiring others.

I put on a persona.

I slow and soften my voice a little in my animations so the experience is calming and warm and encouraging, which is the effect I want to have.

I’ve chosen to amplify certain parts of my personality and reduce others that wouldn’t serve me in this situation.

The way I act on social media is not exactly how I act…

• With my wife
• Or on work calls
• Or in different social settings.

That wouldn’t work.

But just as the version of me in any of those situations isn’t inauthentic, either is the version of me on social media.

It’s totally authentic.

I like being like that. It feels good.

It’s just a different performance that uses different parts of me, just like in any other part of life.

The version of me you’re getting right now reading this is also totally authentic.

But this is not the way I’d act or speak in, say a job interview, right?

I hope I’m getting the point across here.

We need to be more open to shifting ourselves.

Shifting the balance between different traits and behaviours and energies to fit certain situations, without immediately saying ‘oh that’s inauthentic.’

We can’t always embody every single part of us in every situation.

That simply wouldn’t work.

We would never get anywhere in life.

I think we do need to establish a solid foundation of who we are so we can move through life with intention and direction.

But instead of being this static, totally rigid person who acts and thinks and feels exactly the same in every situation…

…we need to be able to adapt to different situations.

To be more fluid when it’s called for.

To embrace and restrain different parts of us to move forward more effectively.

Some situations call for assertiveness, or even anger.

Some call for calm and compassion.

Some call for a businessperson.

Some call for an artist.

Some call for a familiar, casual version of you.

Some call for an unfamiliar and performative version of you.

If we can agree that putting on a performance to achieve a certain thing or have a desired effect is not inauthentic (as long as you’re not going against your morals or values and as long as you’re not hurting or harmfully misleading others)…

And if we can agree that social media is just one of many situations in life that requires a certain performance from us…

We’ve arrived at a place where we can say:

You can be authentic on social media while also not being exactly how you are in every day life.

Which again, is different depending on the situation anyway, right?

So from here we can give ourselves permission to not have to be perfectly ‘natural’ or comfortable or even ‘normal’ on social media for us to do it well and authentically.

Of course we don’t want it to always feel super uncomfortable or weird.

And that’s something we can work on.

But if we can agree that it’s ok to show up without having those things sorted and we can still consider it authentic…

…and if we know that with practise things that feel unnatural will feel more natural…

You are free to start experimenting with social media, trying things out you’re interested in, and not worrying about whether or not you’re being authentic.

Because you are.

You can do it guilt—free.

Enjoy yourself.

Accept that there are parts of yourself you’re not necessarily super familiar with, but that can still be real and genuine parts of who you are.

Even if it means putting on a bit of a performance.

Because that’s just life, remember?

And if you’ve arrived at this point but you still feel like the only way you’d be able to show up on social media is to compromise on your morals or values, or you’d somehow still be being inauthentic…

I would try to get real with yourself about why you feel like that.

Are you being sh*t?

Are you doing something that’s harmfully misleading people?

If yes, that’s shitty and don’t do it.

You need a different approach, so look for one.

Are you doing something that goes directly against your morals and values?

If you answer yes, first pinpoint exactly what it is you’re doing that you feel is against your morals or values, then ask why you feel it’s against your morals and values.

Be really honest.

And you can keep going with these ‘why’ questions until you’re crystal clear on how you feel about it all and why.

Maybe you arrive at a place where you realise that being on social media does go against your fundamental beliefs about how you should approach life or creativity or something.

And if that’s the case, maybe social media isn’t for you, and that’s fine.

But maybe you arrive at a place where you realise that these things you thought were against your morals and values are really just things you’re unfamiliar or uncomfortable with.

And maybe you could learn to work on them for the sake of the greater good (achieving your goals).

I’m not here to tell you that things are one way or another, or that you should or shouldn’t do certain things.

I’m just trying to shine some extra light on this stuff to help you make more informed choices about what to do.

After getting to know myself (and life) better, I don’t believe being performative for the sake of achieving something you want is at all bad or inauthentic.

I believe it’s how we get through life.

And I believe that if we have a clear idea of what truly matters to us, we can direct ourselves towards our version of the ideal life while being fluid enough to do it well…

…but without compromising on the important parts of us.

Showing up for results or validation is not inauthentic.

To take this even further, I also don’t believe it’s inauthentic to show up on social media (or in life) for external results and/or a bit of validation.

To some, this may sound ridiculously obvious.

But there are plenty of creatives who reject this because it makes them feel like there’s something wrong with them.

It’s not wrong to want either.

That’s part of being human.

We’re all on social media because we want something from it.

Literally no one is on it for no reason, even if that’s what they think or say.

Every single person who is on it, regardless of whether they’re creating or just consuming, is trying to get something from it.

• Sometimes that thing is a cure for boredom or to simply be entertained.
• Sometimes it’s to further their career or get an opportunity.
• Sometimes it’s to be validated in some way, whether personally, artistically, or whatever.

All of this is human.

Now I realise there’s a line here, especially with validation.

It’s a very human thing to desire validation from others.

An artist who’s poured their soul into a piece of art may want to share it with the world because they seek to be seen or understood, or to feel like they have a certain place in the world.

That might not be what you’re doing it for, but it’s not a bad thing for someone to want other people to ‘get’ them, right?

This is not the kind of ‘needing validation’ that’s problematic, as long as it doesn’t go too far.

So if you want to share your art with the world in part because you want to be validated in some way…

…you shouldn’t feel guilty or like you’re betraying yourself because you’re taking certain actions to achieve that.

Even if they feel a little uncomfortable.

Remember, discomfort is not inauthenticity.

Being performative is not automatically inauthentic.

And taking actions that will help you feel validated in a healthy way is not inauthentic.

You’re a human.

This stuff is ok.

But then there’s the kind of seeking validation that’s harmful to you and/or others.

If you are obsessed with external validation so much so that you’re in constant pain or you’re taking actions that hurt others, that’s a big problem.

There is a big difference between—

• An artist wanting a bit of validation
• And someone who’s pushing an agenda or impeding the flourishing of society just to lap up all the validation they can.

One is authentic and normal.

The other is not technically inauthentic, but it’s horrible and the people who do that stuff should reconsider.

The point I’m trying to make here is that—like being performative and uncomfortable—it is not automatically inauthentic to show up on social media for validation.

And I don’t think we should immediately demonise anyone who’s doing that.

As long as they’re not harming others or contributing to a worse society (you can decide what that means for you).

If this idea that showing up for validation has been a barrier for you, it doesn’t have to be anymore.

You don’t have to feel weird or guilty about that.

It’s perfectly ok.

It doesn’t make you inauthentic just because you’re acting on what you want.

It makes you a normal, living creature.

Just don’t let it lead you down a bad path, for yourself and for others.

If you find yourself getting really caught up in the numbers to the point where it’s more of a detriment to you than an advantage… you’ve gone too far.

You’re probably too concerned with validation from others and not enough with validation from yourself.

Numbers and data are helpful.

They give you information that can inform what you should do to make progress.

I don’t think it’s always best to completely ignore them.

But being too obsessed with them can fuck with you.

It can cloud your judgment.

Narrow your mind.

Make you feel like shit.

And start to lead you off the path of authenticity.

Just as with many things in life, there is a good side and bad side to this.

A helpful side and an unhelpful side.

We want to lean into the good, helpful side as much as we can before too much of the other side creeps in and ruins everything for us.

And sometimes we will be required to lean a little more than what’s comfortable into either side for a short time.

Test yourself to understand yourself.

To get the maximum out of our efforts on social media, and to better understand what is truly authentic and inauthentic for us, we want to test ourselves.

Sometimes we want to see what happens if we get more focused on the numbers for a bit.

Does it help or hurt us?

Or is it both, and we have to decide whether or not it’s worth continuing this way?

Or sometimes we want to see what happens if we completely disregard the numbers and focus only on producing stuff we love with no other agenda.

Does this help or hurt us?

By doing this, we learn a lot about ourselves and how things work on social media.

We might discover we can freely put stuff out without thinking about what others think or how they respond and it works out really well for us.

This happens; sometimes a creative simply needs to let go of that need for validation a bit and everything clicks.

They feel much lighter and they end up going down the most beneficial path for them.

But when we test ourselves we also might discover that our need for validation is positively affecting our efforts.

Maybe accepting the part of us that wants a bit of attention opens us up to more possibility, and ultimately leads us to a better outcome.

I don’t want you to automatically ignore these things you might think are bad because you fear they make you inauthentic.

They don’t.

If you find yourself feeling a little pull towards wanting to show up on social media a certain way because it might produce better external results, that’s not an inauthentic path.

If you automatically see certain approaches to social media as bad because…

• They make you uncomfortable
• They’re unfamiliar
• Or they’re performative…

That doesn’t mean they’re inauthentic by default.

Of course some things might actually be wrong for you, and some things might be fake.

There is definitely such a thing as being inauthentic on social media.

Not including the initial discomfort of starting something new, if you find yourself showing up consistently and you can feel that something is off…

…like maybe you’re not acting in alignment with your values…

You might be being inauthentic.

But I see a lot of creatives who are extremely guarded when it comes to showing up on social media.

And while that may very well be warranted, it’s also possible that

• You’re just not letting yourself be uncomfortable
• You’re not embracing the unknown
• And you’re not being honest about who you really are and what you really want.

Real authenticity, in my eyes, is accepting and embracing more of yourself, not less of yourself.

And as uncomfortable as it might be, that could mean confronting some parts of you that you haven’t given much attention before.

You can be someone who has integrity, who’s incorruptible, and who acknowledges and embraces parts of yourself that aren’t super comfortable right now.

• You can be authentic while also chasing results.
• You can be authentic while also being performative.
• You can be authentic while also doing things that don’t feel exactly like you right now.

If we can agree on this, and we can agree that it’s not inauthentic to lean into this stuff a bit but it is inauthentic to lean so far in that you lose sight of who you truly are and what you truly want…

…then we can move forward and embrace social media with much more freedom and authenticity.

We can now expand our world of possibility because we’re not so restrained by this idea that anything that feels even initially uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or unnatural is wrong for us.

We’re not so restrained by the idea that to act with the intention to seek validation or achieve certain results makes us inauthentic or bad in some way.

We are letting that stuff breathe a little more.

Because we’ve acknowledged these are part of the deal, and as long as we don’t go too far into what we consider truly wrong, we’re good.

So now we have a real chance to make progress, to find our authentic voice on social media and also actually get some results.

Where do we go from here?

How do we do it?

The simple path to authentically showing up.

Well, as we’ve now worked through a lot of stuff that may have been holding us back, I’m happy to say the next step here is very simple:

We just start experimenting.

We can go at it judgement—free.

We can approach it both authentically and practically.

And those two things don’t have to clash as much as we maybe first thought, right?

So your next step is to just start messing around.

Keeping in mind that you’re allowed to want results and you’re allowed to try things that are uncomfortable without being inauthentic, I want you to write a list.

The list.

With an open mind, put down all the social media approaches you’ve seen or can dream up that excite or interest you, and that you might like to try.

Put down all the content types your non—judgmental self might be interested in.

Put down all the personas you’re attracted to on social media.

All the aesthetics you love.

All the hooks and gimmicks and attitudes and styles and whatever.

All of it.

While you’re making this list, don’t worry about

• What anyone else would think
• Or how this might make you look
• Or anything that might obscure the truth about what you want.

Just put down what you are truly interested in and what truly excites you.

In a world where no one would judge or criticise you, what would you do?

What would you say?

How would you present your art, your ideas, you?

Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up as you’re making the list.

You might be surprised by some of the things you feel positively or negatively about.

If you don’t suppress your feelings or thoughts that come up as you’re doing this exercise, you might find there are things you previously thought sounded terrible that actually feel kind of exciting.

And you might find that some things you see as safe actually feel kind of boring and that you don’t really want to go down that path…

…it’s just all you initially allowed yourself to consider.

I want you to be really open and honest with yourself here.

And you don’t have to think hard about anything more beyond

• What you like the idea of
• What intrigues you
• What interests you
• And what might help you.

Don’t worry about whether or not it’ll work, or how it’ll work.

Don’t worry about whether or not people will see you as a certain type of artist or creative or person or whatever.

This stage is pure freedom.

Pure honesty with the part of you that just wants what you want.

Pick something and go for it.

Once you’ve got a nice full, exciting list, and you feel all expansive, and like social media doesn’t have to be as grim as you first thought…

Find something on that list that excites you the most, and just start messing around with it.

If it feels weird or unnatural, don’t worry about it.

That’s just because you’ve never done it before.

Don’t run away from it.

After you do it for a bit, you’ll better understand if it’s right for you or not.

But right now, pretty much nothing is going to feel comfortable, natural, or ‘you’ because you’re in unknown territory.

So don’t look for that comfort yet.

This is like a rule of building something on social media:

For a bit, you’re gonna have to run around in the jungle with a blindfold on, not knowing where you are or what you’re really doing.

This is a pre—requisite for being clear on what to do, why to do it, and how to do it.

You will not be able to find your authentic voice on social media solely by thinking about it.

If you try to do that, you’ll settle on something that feels right in your mind, but when you actually try to do it, it’ll still feel wrong.

Then you’ll go back to the drawing board, do the same thing, and get the same result, over and over.

You won’t get anywhere, because you’ve decided that what’s right for you is whatever already feels right, instead of what could feel right with a bit of practise.

This means that anytime you run into a bit of discomfort or unnaturalness, it will feel inauthentic, which is super limiting.

So when you start experimenting and it feels off, good.

That means you’re not just falling into the same comfortable but limiting patterns.

Sitting in the discomfort will allow you to grow and get closer to an authentic version of you on social media.

Remember, we humans can change.

And what feels authentic to us can change too.

Reflect and adapt.

Once you’ve done this for a bit and you’ve pushed past some of that weirdness, you’ll have some information you can use to help you decide what to do next.

Remembering that it’s ok and authentic to want to get results from your efforts, you can ask yourself how things are going.

• How am I feeling about this now?
• Does this still feel ‘not like me’ or is it actually kind of ok?
• Is this getting me results?
• Am I enjoying this? Does it feel right?
• And if I’m not or it doesn’t, is it because I don’t like the approach or because I’m not getting results?

In this situation, if you find your honest answer is ‘I really don’t like this approach—it feels like shit’…

Go back and try something else and go through the same process.

Of course there are going to be approaches that don’t align with you.

For example, you’ll rarely see me doing trending stuff, if ever.

But if your honest answer is ‘I actually don’t mind this approach but it’s not getting me results’ then maybe you don’t start over.

Could it just be a case of practising and developing your skills so you can get a better result from this path?

If you’re paying attention to yourself and you’ve determined it’s not that the path is inauthentic, but you’re just not good enough at it yet…

…you know what to do, right?

Or it could be that the approach you’ve taken is authentic but it’s not really an approach that’s optimised for the kind of results you’re looking for.

This is a grey area.

Because I honestly think there are tons of approaches that can work if you’re prepared to go deep into them.

Even if they don’t seem like they can work right now.

I can’t tell you exactly what to do here, because there are too many factors to consider.

When I’m working with a musician on this the answer will be highly dependent on that individual musician’s goals, skills, and preferences.

The most important thing you can do for yourself here is to pay attention.

Don’t ignore your need for results.

And don’t ignore what feels wrong or right after you push past that initial discomfort.

If you continue to ask: **

‘How is this going? How do I feel? What specifically is causing this dissatisfaction?’…

You will start to understand a lot more about yourself and social media.

You might learn that there are many different approaches to social media that you can feel are authentic to you, but only some of those approaches will bring the kind of results you want.

And again, the need for results may be an authentic part of you, so you can factor that in.

The more you do this, and the more honest you try to be with yourself, the faster you’ll find your authentic voice.

For a good while, you’ll be juggling experimentation, reflection, learning, and honesty.

The further in you go with all of this, the easier it’ll be to tell if you’re on the right path or not.

You’ll have more experience.

You’ll be able to recognise patterns more easily.

You’ll be more confident in yourself and more able to tell the difference between something that’s inauthentic to you and something that’s just uncomfortable.

You’ll be able to tell the difference between being deceptive for personal gain and at the expense of others, and playing the marketing game to get results in a way that you’re ok with.

Experimentation and reflection are key.

Eventually you’ll feel so natural about it all and have such a unique presence that you’ll struggle to even remember what it was like when you weren’t killing it.

You’ll wonder why you didn’t do this sooner.

Is this really necessary?

And you might say to all of this:

“Well, can’t I just show up and do what I want and just be myself?

Do I really have to think about any of this shit to find my authentic voice?”

Of course you can.

And no, you don’t necessarily have to think about all that to find your authentic voice.

Maybe you’re the kind of person who’s happy to stick a camera in your face and talk or play, and that just works for you.

Or you just put out stuff you’re comfortable with right now and that’s enough.

The reason this letter even exists—or one of the reasons—is because many creatives, if they’re being honest, don’t just want to be able to be themselves on social media…

They want to be able to be themselves and get results doing it.

And that’s where diving further into who you really are and what you really want can be massively helpful.

In reality, simply being yourself exactly as you think you are right now is not always going to get you what you want.

We sometimes have to adapt to certain environments to get what we want from them.

On social media, that might mean employing different parts or versions of ourselves to achieve a result.

It might mean learning new things and acting in a way we’re not used to.

It might mean challenging our beliefs about…

• Marketing
• How we understand ourselves
• What’s authentic and what’s just one small part of us.

And sometimes we ignore this need to change or adapt (even though it would get us what our true selves want) because we’re hiding from ourselves.

We’re only accepting parts of us—maybe parts that we think are keeping us safe from hurt, judgement, social exile, or something else.

Like I said earlier, my view is that authenticity is about acknowledging and embracing more of us, not less.

Sometimes the most authentic thing we can do is to shine a light on and integrate things that we originally thought weren’t authentic to help us become more whole and get us further.

Being authentic is not always comfortable.

And it doesn’t always look the same.

Sometimes it will lead us into situations that don’t feel good right away.

And sometimes it will illuminate certain parts of us that change our perspective on life.

But if we continue to be as honest with ourselves as possible…

We learn more and more about who we are and what we want…

And we continue to act based on our true values…

I believe we are putting ourselves in the best position to go far, get what we want, and contribute more positively to the world in general.

Maybe that’s by getting on social media and spreading love, provoking thought or inspiring change.

Or maybe it’s just showing up every day in life with more intention, direction, and honesty with yourself.

We can do some crazy shit if we put our minds to it.

And if those minds are operating from a truly authentic place, that shit will be crazier than we can even imagine.

I hope this one got you thinking, or got you inspired to make a move 🙂

I had a really good time fleshing this out and trying to understand how I felt about it all. I hope it did something for you too.

As a reminder, I’m opening up some more space to do consultations and coaching again.

So if you’re a musician who needs some direction with:

• Building your online presence
• Career stuff in general
• Or finding your authentic voice on social media…

Feel free to get in touch and we can talk about what might work for you.

Ok, all the best and talk again next week.

— Alex